Nilabas ni Inday ang bulletin na ito para sagutin ang mga nagrereklamo sa kanyang pagiging sikat:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I would like to take exception to the unwanted and unsolicited opinions that my popularity is not good to the name and standing of all Pinay maids, in particular, and the whole Filipino people, in general. To my detractors, I say stop your derogatory, if not envious, bent. I’m proud of being a maid. The work may be menial but it is honorable. I urge my idol and manay Miriam to call for a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding
this matter.
Sincerely,
Inday
(taray talaga!)
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I would like to take exception to the unwanted and unsolicited opinions that my popularity is not good to the name and standing of all Pinay maids, in particular, and the whole Filipino people, in general. To my detractors, I say stop your derogatory, if not envious, bent. I’m proud of being a maid. The work may be menial but it is honorable. I urge my idol and manay Miriam to call for a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding
this matter.
Sincerely,
Inday
(taray talaga!)
Taksil si Dodong
“Men who cheat on their girlfriends have severely dysfunctional egos.. They have brains the size of miniature lemons minus the pulp & rind.. They have the security of an adolescent loser nerd, pre-puberty.. and they have hearts as sour & cold as chilled urine..”
-sabi ni Inday,nung nilOkO sya ni Dodong (ouch)
For those of you hoping that I have something funny or witty to post regarding the Glorietta bombing last Friday, I am sorry to let you down for I don’t take such incident lightly. I cannot find any humor nor make the situation any lighter. It is a very sad day for us. Mother used to bring me there a lot when I was still a kid and the mall was still called QUAD.
I sympathize with the family and friends of the casualties in that incident. I cannot comment nor speculate whether it is an act of terrorism or just a diabolical plan to destabilize the government or thwart those who oppose it. One thing I know for sure is that the scars received and lives lost is not and cannot be justified for whatever self serving reason anyone could have. I am still hoping that what happened is purely accidental and an isolated case.
Let us all just unite and pray for peace and prosperity in this wonderful land of ours.
Ederlyn: I agree with you Inday. For today, I will not think of our fights and I support you in this endeavor.
Dodong: I’m happy that my two favorite girls are getting well.
I sympathize with the family and friends of the casualties in that incident. I cannot comment nor speculate whether it is an act of terrorism or just a diabolical plan to destabilize the government or thwart those who oppose it. One thing I know for sure is that the scars received and lives lost is not and cannot be justified for whatever self serving reason anyone could have. I am still hoping that what happened is purely accidental and an isolated case.
Let us all just unite and pray for peace and prosperity in this wonderful land of ours.
Ederlyn: I agree with you Inday. For today, I will not think of our fights and I support you in this endeavor.
Dodong: I’m happy that my two favorite girls are getting well.
SIR: Inday, wala ma’am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto..
INDAY: What?! Are you nuts??! FYI, Sir I intend to reserve my virginity for the person that I truly love! If you think I am an easy-to-get cheap slut, well you’re barking at the wrong tree! And will you please act like a professional because you’re so EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW….. if I hear any more filthy words coming from your mouth, I won’t hesitate to take legal action!
SIR: Leche, maarte ka!
INDAY: Joke lang, sir naman… TARA SA TAAS!
INDAY: What?! Are you nuts??! FYI, Sir I intend to reserve my virginity for the person that I truly love! If you think I am an easy-to-get cheap slut, well you’re barking at the wrong tree! And will you please act like a professional because you’re so EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW….. if I hear any more filthy words coming from your mouth, I won’t hesitate to take legal action!
SIR: Leche, maarte ka!
INDAY: Joke lang, sir naman… TARA SA TAAS!
Sexual Harassment
“i understand that sexual urge is most of the time uncontrollable since a lot of factors contribute for it to be triggered..this is also the reason why some men are found to be polygamous and engage themselves in sexual acts even with someone who’s a total stranger to them..”
–sabi ni Inday sa sarili nya pagkatapos syang gapangin ni kuya…
Nagpapalibre si Inday sa Among Nagbirthday
Inday: At last, thy day has cometh, fair ruler and damsel of this luxurious abode… It is with immense admiration and pleasure that I bequeath upon thee my birthday compliments… But where, oh where, would thy banquet take place, my dear queen? Surely, thou shall engage in merriment. For each year in bounty, our empress must bestow upon her mere chambermaids a fraction of the bounty and graces she hath received… Would thy be kind enough to let us partake in our royal majesty’s ball? The mead and ale to complement the honeysuckled roast loin and courtyard jesters are earthly temporalities we’re looking forward to. Unquestionably we’d be most charmed and delighted…
Amo: (Lumabas ang dugo sa lahat ng butas ng mukha)
Alas, the springs of life are everything but flowing. My quest for my own freedom was futile. For now, I’m forcefully bound to manacles of my dismaying impurities. Sadly, it haunts me. I am a prisoner of my own.
Walang tubig at hindi makaligo si Inday. So, nagdradrama siya.
Bathroom Blues Part 2
I parked myself on my throne from the tenth to the twelfth stroke of the master’s antediluvian timepiece. The dreary tortuous hours, I have tolerated. But at last, triumph is mine to behold. I’m redeemed from my gluttonous mishaps. My transgressions are, at this moment, on the furrow with no ending, exiled into the mysterious unknown for all perpetuity… This princess has procured a paltry sum of water from the disinclined estates in close proximity. The reek as fetid as a dragon’s breath is nothing but a murky memory…
- Success, pagkatapos ma-constipate si Inday at mangupit ng tubig sa kapitbahay.
Wala ng Bagyo
I’m already in the spirits of radiant luminosity, my beloved friend. Such tender coolness, yet conveying a pleasurable warmth. A placid humid waft fills this otherwise musty suite and kisses my body from head to toe. My arms and face are lavishly smothered with a thousand caresses… Oh, how sweet the sensation lingers.
Exult with me, my dear comrade, my darling sweetheart! The gloom and wretched darkness is gone. The horrific skirmish cries of the strident booming thunders have ceased! The ominous inundation of heavenly moans have come to an end. The slashes of cloud-piercing lighting have been banished from this realm to invade the moonlit skies another day! Hallelujah…
- Ganyan magsabi si Inday sa kaibigan at minamahal na si Dodong na: “May kuryente na, may ilaw na, may aircon na din! (Sosyal) Wala na bagyo! Woohoo!”
Exult with me, my dear comrade, my darling sweetheart! The gloom and wretched darkness is gone. The horrific skirmish cries of the strident booming thunders have ceased! The ominous inundation of heavenly moans have come to an end. The slashes of cloud-piercing lighting have been banished from this realm to invade the moonlit skies another day! Hallelujah…
- Ganyan magsabi si Inday sa kaibigan at minamahal na si Dodong na: “May kuryente na, may ilaw na, may aircon na din! (Sosyal) Wala na bagyo! Woohoo!”
Dodong: Inday, yor so prety bebi…. I wel cros da end of di ert to proob my lab por yo is tru as da err dat yo brith… I lab yo may lab, may darleng, may hani, may hart bits por onli yo… Ang puso ko ay tumitibok dahil sa pagmamahal mo…
Inday: Oh stop it dear Dodong. (Kilig) Enough of those sweet lines. You see, my heart now pumps blood into my pretty face (Blushing)… Doesn’t it ever occur to you that your heart beats because of the stimulation of the myocardium in response from the action potentials generated by the SA node then travels down though the Internodal Pathway, AV node, Common Bundle of His, Left and Right His Bundles, Purkinje system, and ultimately the Ventricular muscle, causes your heart to contract?
Dodong: (nagtampo, walk out)
- ito ang simula ng away nilang dalawa at ang dahilan ng pagtaksil ni Dodong, kaya naghanap si Dodong ng kalebel nya sa pag-iingles na pwedeng ipalit kay Inday: Si Ederlyn…
Inday: Oh stop it dear Dodong. (Kilig) Enough of those sweet lines. You see, my heart now pumps blood into my pretty face (Blushing)… Doesn’t it ever occur to you that your heart beats because of the stimulation of the myocardium in response from the action potentials generated by the SA node then travels down though the Internodal Pathway, AV node, Common Bundle of His, Left and Right His Bundles, Purkinje system, and ultimately the Ventricular muscle, causes your heart to contract?
Dodong: (nagtampo, walk out)
- ito ang simula ng away nilang dalawa at ang dahilan ng pagtaksil ni Dodong, kaya naghanap si Dodong ng kalebel nya sa pag-iingles na pwedeng ipalit kay Inday: Si Ederlyn…
Nagkatuluyan na sila Dodong at Ederlyn
Dahil hindi ma-reach ni Dodong ang pag-iingles ni Inday, naging malapit sila ni Ederlyn…
Nakasundo ni Dodong ang pamilya at kapatid ni Ederlyn na sina Edermae at ang mongoloid na si Ederloo. Pati ang mga plastic na kaibigan ni Ederlyn na sina Chona Mae at Chona Jane ay boto sa kanya…
Ikakasal na sila Dodong at Ederlyn, at dahil ang reception ay gagawin sa bukid ng kanilang pamilya, hindi na mapapanis at masasayang ang pagluluto ng Nanay ni Ederlyn, si Edernay….
Malugod namin kayong inaanyahayan ang lahat na makisaksi sa panunumpa ng aming labis na pag-ibig at katapatan sa isa’t isa, bilang mag-asawa sa Sabado, Alas-sais ng gabi sa Sanctuario de San Antonio, McKinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati.
Playground
Inday: “What kind of dim-witted, ill-willing person holds proprietorship of this structural malady? Had he not the knowledge of the building codes set forth in international conventions by known intellectual committees. How dare he violate these rules when the very epitome if these things I say are embodied in the Building code of the Philippines as stated in the Republic Act 6541 authored on August 26 in the year of the Lord 1972. Had this structure existed even before that? I think not. Therefore you have peddled against the R.A. 6541, which gives me the stands to lead this to court with a count of attempted homicide and the evasion of responsibilities according to the said Republic act..”
Security Guard: [nosebleed]
- pinapagalitan ni Inday ang sekyu ng playground nang nabali ni junior ang Monkey Bars at muntik pang mabagok ang ulo
Isang Love Letter ni Dodong kay Inday
Inday,
“Where fort art thou?”- in the words of Juliet in the infamous play,”Romeo and Juliet” by of course, the greatest playwright of all time, William Shakespeare. Though I am not a Juliet, I chose these words to put into words of what my heart is screaming to say to you my dear Inday.
Inday, you know from the very moment my eyes laid on you beautiful smile, my world stopped. My heart can’t stop from hyperventilating as I stare at you while you are sweeping the Montemayor’s front yard. I can’t sleep as i think the way your hair flows as you chase Junior when you’d be giving him a bath.
Oh my Inday, I pray that we would last until the end of all eternity. As your superior intellect overpowers my inferiority, it doesn’t matter.
As long as our love is strong and our determination to face all the hindrance of our relationship, I, Dodong, will never, ever give up.
Lovingly yours,
-Dodong
“Where fort art thou?”- in the words of Juliet in the infamous play,”Romeo and Juliet” by of course, the greatest playwright of all time, William Shakespeare. Though I am not a Juliet, I chose these words to put into words of what my heart is screaming to say to you my dear Inday.
Inday, you know from the very moment my eyes laid on you beautiful smile, my world stopped. My heart can’t stop from hyperventilating as I stare at you while you are sweeping the Montemayor’s front yard. I can’t sleep as i think the way your hair flows as you chase Junior when you’d be giving him a bath.
Oh my Inday, I pray that we would last until the end of all eternity. As your superior intellect overpowers my inferiority, it doesn’t matter.
As long as our love is strong and our determination to face all the hindrance of our relationship, I, Dodong, will never, ever give up.
Lovingly yours,
-Dodong
